So sick

... he used to send me songs when he would come home from the police academy
we would chat online until he had to go to sleep
His song for me was Marios "Shes it"
It was about that chick that moves into your building and u know that she is the girl for you... the one you wont share with your boys... and all that.. lol
our other song was Ushers rendition of Luther's "Superstar"
And our special ringer on each others phone was "Naked"...


this is torture man... pure torture... its crazy because on saturday i had a nervous breakdown and started begging him to come back and speak to me just to say bye... and i had a dream that we were at his funeral and he climbed out of the casket and walked towards me but i ran away from him because I was so scared...

i hope he tries to speak to me again...


im going to keep begging until he does....


...signing off with a smile*

Jason B. Thompson

well.. apparently Jason came home from gun shooting practice and went to the bathroom.... he put his gun on the edge of the sink and while he was washing his hands it slipped off, released a shot, ricocheted off of the wall and into his forehead... then I guess the impact made him fall back and he hit his head on either the toilet or bathtub.. either way it busted the back of his head open. His momma came home and saw blood from under the bathroom door and opened it and found him... its crazy.. his funeral was horrible... I thought I was going to die. We went to his house before and after the funeral. Before the funeral a few of us had to use the bathroom, but we didn't want to use the only one they had in the house.. but his mother made us. So I went in... wasn't that bad but I cried a little bit. Then we went to the funeral. It was a mess... when they drove the Hurst off I blew him kisses...After the services we went to his house to hang out for a little bit... and before we left for the night I went back to the bathroom to say my final goodbyes to that sweet boy.. (and pee) and I looked around... checked out the bullet hole.. touched the sink and just looked around... just to get a feel for his last moment. Then I looked on the side of the sink next to the wall.. and I saw a spot... I tried to wipe it up but it was dry... so I wet tissue and wiped it up.. it was the last few drops of his blood... I didn't even cry.. I just smiled and walked out... I'm so sick thinking about this...this is the hardest thing ive ever had to deal with in life... he called me just last week... may 15th to be exact... to say hi and hear my voice... and i torture myself by listening to it over and over again... but i called him back but we missed each other... i guess there was a reason...

I called his phone this morning just to see if it was still connected

it was...

so i just left him a message telling him i loved him... and said my last bye byes


Pictures to come

...signing off with a smile*

Mourning

my god my god... this is going to be the first of many posts because I am hurting.. i have never felt pain like this in my life...

I cant breathe
I cant think
I cant do anything without thinking of you
I cant sleep
I cant stop crying
I wont stop
Dont know how to stop
but my god... i wish i could stop
this pain
it hurts way toooooooo much...
Im torturing myself listening to the message you left me last week
over and over again
i called you back
but like two ships in the night
we passed...
never to meet up
ever again...
and im sick
so sick
why jason?
you of all people...
so happy with life...
such a beautiful person
im sorry...
sorry i never told you how i really felt
but i heard you knew...
i know you knew...
stephen told me you knew...
but i should have given you those roses during life...
and now i will never get the chance...
i love you Jdubb... always have and always will...
please come visit me and tell me you love me too...

details to come

...signing off *

Oh wow!!!

crazy...

the last couple of months have been a whirlwind... im like dorothy in that tornado... we aint in kansas anymore ToTo...

work...

ha... CRAZY!!!! thats the main reason for my disappearing act, my lack of communication with my wonderful blogger fam.. soooo sorry.. what can i say? beauty pr is no joke! in all honesty though... i think im over it... oh how i loved this place when i first got here... now... egh... i would love nothing more then to get back into music, music pr, music marketing... anything music... beauty is just... egh... dont get me wrong... oh how i loveeeeeeee makeup and checking out the beauty closet in the latest issue of lucky... but thats where the fun ends... i dunno man... this thing called life aint no crystal stair.. i tell u that much...


love life...


HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA... mann listen.. i could/ should write a book on the happenings of the last few months in this area... KJC... i guess hes out of the picture.. we text each other every now and then with a hello... hows work, i miss you (him to me) whats new? Is Lupe Fiasco getting play over there in nyc? Things of that nature.. but if the kid was as smart as id like to think that he is... he would realize that it is a wrap for him... lol...


in comes robby rob... this kid... what can i say.. .i have no idea what to say... we used to talk in high school but didnt do much of anything because my father would have a heartattack if he knew i was talking to boys... then over the years we just started to hate each other... when i say hate i mean HATE.. on some " Why does Tola have such a bad attitude" he would say to sass... oh! i forgot to mention, sass is his bestfriend... (yeah man the crew is tight) or me " rob is such a f***ing idiot, why is he so slow... " ha... now.. its on some " Are you coming over tonight" or " I miss you " CRAZYYYY!.. this shit came out of left field... trust me... its a longggg story but thats my abridged version... just happy to be back...hahah IM HAPPYYYY TO BE HEREEE (sass)... blogger you have been missed...

nik nak.. holla at ure bloggette!

Keish ... sisss... im bacckkkk!

Suzie Q ... muahhh... atl here i come!

Cymple ... stop harassing me on myspacee... i owe my home-coming to you!

Sass... ure turn!


everyone else... Lets chat!!!! :o)



...signing off with a smile*

Finally...

they can be together again...

R.I.P

4/27/27 - 1/31/06

...signing off *

Recap...

Ok so first... id like to say thanks to everyone who has stopped by the new spot! Welcome welcome... pull up a chair and stay awhile... :o)

I need to vent ya'll. I should have posted this Saturday at 3 am when I got home but i was so upset i couldnt breathe! Lol... so my best friend's sister had a birthday party at the Maya Lounge... nice spot... i didnt think that it was going to be a "party", i thought it was going to be more of a girls night out type thing. WRONG!!!!! So i get home around 9:45 after a long night/week at work... and steph calls me at 10 to ask me if i was ready... ready??? Naw man... i just walked in the door. I didnt want to go but felt obligated... so i asked the question that we females always ask.... "What are you wearing?" . Her response " Some jeans and a tanktop". ok great.. im not changing. I went to the "party" in my stale work outfit! I had on some lowrise jeans cuffed up with some fly ass boots BUT i just had on a plain tan shirt... nothing more... nothing less. I didnt even do my makeup over... NOTHING! So steph comes to pick me up... we head out.. get lost in the process (as usual) and as we get close to the place my other half quietly says " I heard there were gonna be a lot of dudes"... STOP!! Steph... u have to be kiding me... so at this poin im tight... here I am looking like a HOT ASSSSS MESSS and there are going to be mens there?!?!?!? I thought it was going to be a girls night out... i guess thats what i get for not reading the evite... anyway... we get there... i was like pissy faced... saw a few people i knew and started chattin... nothin big. Went back to the coat rack and saw an old high school friend whos brother was the DJ. We sparked up a convo and spoke for a few. While im standing there talking to him... an old love walked in... WITH A GIRL.... actually... its not even an issue that he walked in with a girl.... the issue lies in teh fact that he looked GOOD AS HELL... and here i was looking stale... oh wait... i forgot to tell u the hair was like a a dry ass cotton ball pulled into a stank ass ponytail. What the hell was I thinking!?!? OH MY GOD! I wanted to DIE! We looked at each other like... wow... me in amazement at how good he looked and he in amazement at how WACK and DRYYYY i was looking! Oh man... so he just chuckled, asked me how i was doing i said fine.. i asked him... "could be better" Nothing more... nothing less... that was it. I sat down the rest of theh night feeling DEFEATED! and after that nigh i vowed to NEVER go ANYWHERE looking like someone with no fashion sense whatsoever... my god...

so needless to say i got my hai done yesterday! Thanks Carmelo! Got it pressed for the first time and i stomped the whole day like i was the shit! eventhough i still FELT like shit... *sigh*

***NEWSFLASH***

KJC called me on Thursday at 10 am .... and left me a message. I didnt hear it until 11 pm... i almost cried when i heard it. I called him back and left him a message as well.. nothing big but... thats crazy. Its been damn near 2 months with no work from him and here he comes... im so weak... KEISHHHHH ! HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!

*sigh*


So whats new everyone? new year.. new you... new me!

One of my "resolutions" for this year was to read more. RIght now im reading "The Devil Wears Prada". This boook is hilarious. Cracking me the hell up. For those that dont know, its a semi-fictional/non-fictional account of Lauren Weisberger's job as Anna Wintour's assistant at Vogue. Funny ish*... pick it up! Any suggestions on what I should read???

...signing off with a smile*

Nevermind...

Im still here.. just changed the link and fixing up the new spot a lil bit... same blog... diff place... same me... .:o) Stay tuned!!!

...signing off with a smile*

Its soooo hard...

to saaayyy goodbye! IM OUTTTTT! Just joking... im retiring this blog though... dont worry... im still missbhavin! Ha... I just want to start something new for this year... just a few words before I bid my farewells...


HAPPPYYY NEW YEAR!!!


I hope everyone had a great holiday season! I sure did. I chilled with my momma for a few days and ate like i hadnt seen food in years!

The new job is great! Its REALLLYYY fast paced, but whos complaining? I love it...

KJC's card expired on DEC 31st and 11:59 PM. There will be no him in 06! NUFF SAID!

Im just happy, excited... elated and anxious to see what 06 holds...

WATCH OUT!

Love you all!!!!


*PS* I havent updated the new page but I will find you and hit you with the new link! MUAH!!!


...signing off with a smile*

Guess whoooss BIZACCKKK.... Pt 3

im happy...


isnt that a good feeling? just happy... nothing much to be happy about but... actually... im lying... its been a good GREAT week! so much to tell... where do i begin!?!?!?


Well.... for starters... i have a new job...this one kind of fell into my lap. i have to go pretty far back to explain but to make this rather long story short lets just say someone that i interviewed with in MAY called me to go with her to a new company and be an assistant at a beauty pr firm But one special thing about my position is that i will be working exclusively with my boss on the one music account, which is the only music account in the whole company. Sounds good to me. I must have made som kind of impression on her in MAY for her to remember me in DECEMBER! God works in mysterious ways huh!? So what about Allhiphop you may ask... what about it!? Im not leaving. im not sure how im going to be able to pull it off but im going to work both jobs... dont ask me any questions for i will not have any answers.. just know that its going to be a fun, exciting year... and IM READY!!!

so i went to go see the color purple with my mother on tuesday (she came up this week). and i must say.... it was GREAT! (word of the day) I recommend everyone go see it, or rent the movie or read teh damn book again.. actually.. it wont give u the affect of this musical. it was superb. Siskel and tola give it two thumbs up! the woman that played Sophia was the SHYT! YOU TOLDDDD HARPO TO BEAT ME!!?!?? HEEELLLLL NO! hahah...

im going to va to spend xmas with my momma and the rest of the fam down there. i was also thinking about piercing my nose again... lol... for those that dont know... ive pierced my nose 3 times... LMAO... the first time i did it, i was down on Va beach for vacation and teh damn thing slipped out of my nose when i got home. I cant even tell you where i did it the second, all i know is that it slipped out AGAIN and teh third time i did... i had it for 8 months... the longest time id had any of my nose rings and i had to take the damn thing out when i was getting my boob reduction.. aint that a bitch! i was mad as hell... u should have seen me begging the damn doctor to let me keep it in!
Me: Doc pleaseeeeee,... i can NOT take this thing out
Doc: if you dont take it out you may burn your nose because of the anestesia.
Me: Listen... ill take the chance! If that happens we can just fix it with some minor rhinoplasty!
Doc: (Laughing) im sorry but you have to take it out..
Me: But...
Mom: Take the damn thing out!
Me: ( thinking to myself... where the hell did she come from)

So yes, i had to take it out. and that was that. I havent even made an attempt to pierce it again after my many mishaps! but a las... the urge is back... so we shall see what happens in VA!


not much to say about KJC... other then the fact that i havent spoken to homeboy in about two weeks... a friend of his died... what does that have to do with me? i feel like im being selfish cuz i wouldnt expect that to change things between us but im guessing it has... he doesnt want to talk to anyone... ok fine... ill tell you one thing... kendri oops... KJC better get it together by Dec 31st or there will be no him in 2006. Nuff said...


im not sure how im going to bring in the new year. my platano (dominican homie) and i were thinking about having a new years eve dinner at her crib. sounds like a plan.


hey, how could i forget... i got rave reviews on my pics this week. im excited. i want to take more... maybe towards the end of jan. i want to do something to my hair for the new year... not sure what though.... ive been thinking about a weave..i miss straight hair... not sure...


...signing off with a smile*