Today's thoughts...
the day has just begun and already i have a million and one things running through this mind of mine.
BIG DAY: JULY 11th @ 3 pm... mark ure calendars... im not telling whats happening at this very moment but please stay tuned. its a big day for me... BIG DAY!!!
SCHMOE: for someone that doesnt do a lot of thinking, im doing a lot of thinking. there are a few things about schmoe that i wonder about. but then again, id wonder these things with any other guy. for instance... who else is he talking too at the moment? granted... ive told myself to continue to do me and not think about a relationship right now but i cant help but wonder. its natural right? or am i bugging? its only been two weeks... maybe i should relax. yeah... i think that is what i will do... relax. :o)
K.J.C: unfortunately, i CAN NOT relax when it comes to this one. on my way to work this morning i couldnt help but think of him. actually, i thought about him last night, i thought about him so hard that i called him. he still has no phone. he lost it, or atleast thats what his voicemail says. but im no fool. he has two cell phones, a house phone, AND a work phone. so why hasnt he called me back? i have no clue. im sure his excuse will be "work, work and...". but a fool i AM NOT. i dont mind if hes doing him, having fun, hell... im doing the same... but all i need is a phone call. last night, i concluded that the next time we speak... im just going to close the book.. for the moment. like ive said in previous posts, it will not, and can not be anything right now given our situation (me in NYC, him in Chicago) but still... i think i need closure... whatever!!!
LIFE: this morning i was listening to my wonderful dell-pod (its called a DJ) and destiny's child survivor came on... man listen.... that song opens up a wound that is taking forever to heal. everyone has their lil' issues, and/or life occurances that have affected them (or still does) in some way, and everyone has their own release/ therapy. music is undoubtedbly my therapy. its my medicine, and SURVIVOR was and is definately my pill of choice when thinking about this situation. the words in that song are my words. i swear those are the thoughts and feelings that i have for a certain person that is no longer in my life. i do apologize for being so vague but please believe that the blog world is not ready for that story and i am truly not in the "Mr. Rogers neighborhood" mindframe. i know everyone is familiar with the song, but read the words... i know it like the back of my hand, but when i sit back and think about life, i like to revisit this song... it was my therapy then, and its my therapy now...
Now that you're out of my life
I'm so much better
You thought that I'd be weak without you
But I'm stronger
You thought that I'd be broke without you
But I'm richer
You thought that I'd be sad without you
I laugh harder
You thought I wouldn't grow without you
Now I'm wiser
Though that I'd be helpless without you
But I'm smarter
You thought that I'd be stressed without you
But I'm chillin
You thought I wouldn't sell without you
Sold 9 million ( doesnt apply to me but u get the point)
Thought I couldn't breathe without
I'm inhaling
You thought I couldn't see without you
Perfect vision
You thought I couldn't last without you
But I'm lasting
You thought that I would die without you
But I'm living
Thought that I would fail without you
But I'm on top
Thought it would be over by now
But it won't stop
Thought that I would self destruct
But I'm still here
Even in my years to come
I'm still gon be here
After all of the darkness and sadness
Soon comes happiness
If I surround myself with positive things
I'll gain prosperity
... aint that the truth!
...signing off with a smile*
BIG DAY: JULY 11th @ 3 pm... mark ure calendars... im not telling whats happening at this very moment but please stay tuned. its a big day for me... BIG DAY!!!
SCHMOE: for someone that doesnt do a lot of thinking, im doing a lot of thinking. there are a few things about schmoe that i wonder about. but then again, id wonder these things with any other guy. for instance... who else is he talking too at the moment? granted... ive told myself to continue to do me and not think about a relationship right now but i cant help but wonder. its natural right? or am i bugging? its only been two weeks... maybe i should relax. yeah... i think that is what i will do... relax. :o)
K.J.C: unfortunately, i CAN NOT relax when it comes to this one. on my way to work this morning i couldnt help but think of him. actually, i thought about him last night, i thought about him so hard that i called him. he still has no phone. he lost it, or atleast thats what his voicemail says. but im no fool. he has two cell phones, a house phone, AND a work phone. so why hasnt he called me back? i have no clue. im sure his excuse will be "work, work and...". but a fool i AM NOT. i dont mind if hes doing him, having fun, hell... im doing the same... but all i need is a phone call. last night, i concluded that the next time we speak... im just going to close the book.. for the moment. like ive said in previous posts, it will not, and can not be anything right now given our situation (me in NYC, him in Chicago) but still... i think i need closure... whatever!!!
LIFE: this morning i was listening to my wonderful dell-pod (its called a DJ) and destiny's child survivor came on... man listen.... that song opens up a wound that is taking forever to heal. everyone has their lil' issues, and/or life occurances that have affected them (or still does) in some way, and everyone has their own release/ therapy. music is undoubtedbly my therapy. its my medicine, and SURVIVOR was and is definately my pill of choice when thinking about this situation. the words in that song are my words. i swear those are the thoughts and feelings that i have for a certain person that is no longer in my life. i do apologize for being so vague but please believe that the blog world is not ready for that story and i am truly not in the "Mr. Rogers neighborhood" mindframe. i know everyone is familiar with the song, but read the words... i know it like the back of my hand, but when i sit back and think about life, i like to revisit this song... it was my therapy then, and its my therapy now...
Now that you're out of my life
I'm so much better
You thought that I'd be weak without you
But I'm stronger
You thought that I'd be broke without you
But I'm richer
You thought that I'd be sad without you
I laugh harder
You thought I wouldn't grow without you
Now I'm wiser
Though that I'd be helpless without you
But I'm smarter
You thought that I'd be stressed without you
But I'm chillin
You thought I wouldn't sell without you
Sold 9 million ( doesnt apply to me but u get the point)
Thought I couldn't breathe without
I'm inhaling
You thought I couldn't see without you
Perfect vision
You thought I couldn't last without you
But I'm lasting
You thought that I would die without you
But I'm living
Thought that I would fail without you
But I'm on top
Thought it would be over by now
But it won't stop
Thought that I would self destruct
But I'm still here
Even in my years to come
I'm still gon be here
After all of the darkness and sadness
Soon comes happiness
If I surround myself with positive things
I'll gain prosperity
... aint that the truth!
...signing off with a smile*
posted by THE PURPLE CRUSH COLLECTIVE at
9:00 AM
2 Comments:
This was beautiful B, K.J.C needs to get it together though, but we all go through issues like that with men..you are far from alone on that one! and whats up with the Killer-Smiley face lol!!! what do you like about that thing lol!
I'm with you on Survivor and wounds that need healing :)
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